today in rained like crazy! i hope it means spring is official. when i was walking the dog afterward, it had apparently stopped but it was now incredibly foggy, and the smell reminded me of an old resort my family went to for perhaps a decade called pennellwood that was in michigan. technically the smell that i remembered was always a morning dew kinda thing, so the setting was different but, but it smelled similar.

anyway. after getting back inside i started to work some more on my applications but easliy got distracted and decided to google pennellwood. aparently the new owner (who started our last year there) tried spiffing-up/modernizing the place, went bankrupt and is selling the land. through all of this, he razed all the original buildings such as cabins/lodges/dinning halls/etc, built in perhaps the 1920s(?) and tried to spiffy up the place in an effort to make some more money, but it all fell through.

i looked up the address and found it all for sale. i dont recognise anything in the 16 pictues except the watertower.
http://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/10652-Range-Line-Rd_Berrien-Springs_MI_49103_1105540995

theres also a youtube video by some guy of the rec hall after it was demolished, with only the chiminney and the tiled floor with the shuffle board lines and the resort's name. that really did me in... so i put in a dumb little comment...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2asUEoCvbL8&feature=related

i found this all incredibly depressing since i had spent nearly every summer untill 1999 at that resort, and having so many memories attached to that location. i thought it would have gone on much longer like it already had. i hate finding out stuff like this over the internet. what a let down.


on the upside, i was researching some gwar... (awkward transition)... so that i know just what im getting into before the actual concert. aparently there is some funny ass shit on lastfm. its the video links farther down, not the audio clips. http://www.last.fm/music/GWAR you gotta love a guy whos name is balsac and his bandmate has triceratop heads for sholder pads.

i finally got an internet card for my desktop after it had a few breakdowns. so after a few moths of updating, i connected to the world wide web and my desktop is replaced with a "SOFTWARE COUNTERFEITING" sign. damn, they got me.

im still unemployed. the initial fun of the "down time" wore off a long time ago. i dont know if it is just education positions, but these online essay questions bug the hell out of me. especially when one is a reworded version on the previous: 1. how much do you want to know about your students in order to be most helpful to them? 2. what are three things you want to know about your students? no joke. i have gotten in 4 or 5 applications, so as low as that sounds... i feel a little accomplished. also on accomplished, i somewhat completed a pretty decent resume, so i like that too. im going to the educators job fair march 2 so hopefully that resume is a nice plus.

i went to Our World Underwater (a big scuba diving convention-thing) saturday and ended up talking to a guy from a local dive shop. i went in yesterday to see if i could get a part-time job because the money is really running out (especially after the euro trip. sarah?). well the lady i talked to was apparently the boss, and she said shed like to set up an interview(!). so hopefully i get some money coming in between teaching opportunities. theres also a reeeaaally big/deep indoor pool in back to train in so that would be pretty cool. for no particular reason...

since last post i graduated. yay. and just got back from a long (but exciting) family vacation in europe. slowly posting pictures on facebook if youre interested.


so the not so inspirational reason i decided to write:
i saw a trailer for sex drive and it had a catchy tune to it so i was duped into watching the movie. it was pretty average, i did like the taco-doughnut costume scenes a lot though... any way. so after watching i decided to google the song and its mgmt's "time to pretend" and then saw the music video on youtube. now the funny part about all of this boring back story is that i saw that video some time ago, cant remember when, but i thought it was soooooo fucking STUPID and quickly changed the chanel. now, i still think the video is stupid, and the song is still not all that great... but its catchy, and i kind like it. not the video though. thats still dumb shit.


well i just thought of something else. this could get lengthy or stupid so feel free to ignore it.
over the past few weeks/months/years ive been having heavy conflict with the concept of organized religion, but at the same time was much to uncertain to go all out and call myself and atheist, and agnostic sounds almost apathetic to me. ive been throwing around a lot of thoughts in my head surrounding these matters but a little unsure to spill it out. well while i was in Florence i went to some bars with the people i was sharing a hostel room with and the consumption of alcohol helped let the monkey out of the jar.

first off, i hate how the christian god is named God. they (being those who officially named this deity) basically turned an adjective into a noun to affirm through language that their God is the only god. from this I decided that if there was a god, it would have a more appropriate and less oppressive name. this was my first road block.

on a slight parallel to this topic ive been moderately interested in basic—very basic—quantum physics (i think thats what it is) and imagining what it would be like outside of our three-dimensional lifestyle, such as 2-D, 4-D, 5-D etc. so, when i found a visual explanation of each reality up to the 10th dimension it really intrigued me. cutting to the chase, in the end it basically states that all possibilities are contained within the 10th dimension. cool stuff.

now i have heard many say, “all things are possible with god”. couldnt we turn that around and say “with possibility, god is possible”? with this, if all things are possible through god and god is possible through possibility contained in the 10th dimension, i thought a much more appropriate name for a god would be Possibility. stretching this even farther, if all religions—polytheistic or monotheistic—believed in a god, that god would be contained within the 10th dimension. and by simply believing that there is some sort of deity, this places you in a position where you believe in the same possibility as the next person. all this includes atheists as well under the belief that there is no god.

hopefully you got my logic, but i would like to clearify that i am not declaring now that i believe in my own self-invented religion. in fact I don’t think i am any farther then when I started. im just writing this because if an intoxicated bunch can hear it, so can you. congratulations.

well, i still havent gotten that bike yet... in due time.

im supposed to be finishing up several projects that involve typing, so im obviously procrastinating. they are:
1)an online application (which i hate because its online so they think they can put whatever they want since theyre not paying for paper)
2) lesson plans
3) my resume
1+1+1=fun

ive been a little disheartened about my high school placement. i enjoy the other art teachers and my supervisor but the students learning level is soooo low. its a little depressing. i was looking forward to a level above jr high but seem to be teaching between an elementary and middle level. the field trip was pretty nice, though i wish it was longer and more time spent in the actual gallery.

what inspired me to write a post (aside from the procrastination) was while i was listening to music. while lisnening to simon and garfunkel, sound of silence came on. remembering how it was written as a reaction to kennedy's assasination, it got me thinking: "damn, there was some great reactionary music back then..." then i thought how we have been facing strikingly similar bleak moments with our own war, terrible ecconomy, etc, etc and wondered "where the fuck is our music!?" oddly i was seriously peturbed by this lack of production. ive heard people say art is dead; i wouldnt go that far, its just the music industry.

to add salt on the wound:
as i was finishing typing this my brother started reciting his rap/hip-hop while listening to his ipod

(Gangsta, gangsta, gangsta, gangsta!)
My black bandana;
So cool in my black bandana, (Whatsup!?)
I'm a fool in my black bandana,
I'm a G in my black bandana..
(My black bandana)
My black bandana;
I'm so cool in my black bandana,
straight fool in my black bandana,
I'm a G in my black bandana -
Throw up ya flags!

Ive been looking at some bikes so that i can avoid driving to school--and ive wanted to get one after losing my last one anyway. Ive come to a dilemma between two bikes. this is a bit of an investment so any help would be appreciated.

The contenders:
I'm including the factors that i am hung up on

Soho S
-cheap(er)
-one speed (ive never ridden a one speed)
-rim brakes (regular brakes)

Soho 1.0
-more expensive by $100
-several speeds... i think 24 (i am used to several gears)
-disk brakes (better for bad weather)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP12aNzocSc

after seeing this video of Palin tanking in her interview with Katie Couric, i almost feel bad for her. before i despised her for being an insulting excuse to get former clinton/white-female voters over to the republican party. now it just seems as if shes being whored out by her administration; mccain needed a female vp and picked her up. and seriously if you were living in wasilla alaska and someone asked if you wanted to be vp in dc... hell yeah! the part that kills me though is that when all of this is over with and obama has (hopefully) won, palin has to go back to her somewhat simpleton life in alaska, but now as a fool for how she and/or her electoral party embarrassed herself for the few months up until the election.

hopefully after that interview she has had some second considerations. but can you drop out of the vp nomination after accepting it?

all of this political craziness is a little overwhelming for me. although i feel like obama is the logical choice for our country's needs, i know there are many out there that dont share my ways of thinking. also, this was a very similar form of thinking i had in the last election. almost an, "oh the choice is easy! it would be a fluke if bush won again." although i have been thinking there is an obvious choice, it seems much more difficult for the rest of the country, as bigoted as that sounds.

i just want it to be january already; the election will be over, i will have (hopefully) graduated...



i am loving this fall weather though, the smells are amazing!! im pretty big on smells for some reason. ZOO SMELLS! there are still mosquitoes though... what the hell?

i saw heart shaped hate thursday--yes it was a school night--which was pretty fun. didnt get to stay too long because i was getting sleepy. the tiny $6 vodka tonic probably didnt help.

funny related school story: thursday afternoon i was with my last class (7-8th grade) and they were asking if i had any music today (bc i play music for the quieter classes whereas this one will not shut up, but there were less of them today bc of a 8th grade event thing...) and i said all i had was a crystal castles cd--which i didnt expect them to know of, but they did. a little impressed, i mentioned "my friend's band opened for crystal castles". which they asked who that was, and i replied "heart shaped hate" who i thought they for sure would not know (no offense). At that moment the majority of the class jumped in a "youre friends with heart shaped hate!?!?!" so... here is my logic: 1) as discussed in my previous post, many of these students know very little of the beatles. 2) the beatles were at one point "bigger than jesus" 3) heart shaped hate is bigger than the beatles 4)therefore, heart shaped hate is bigger than jesus. congratulations. and congratulations to me for now being super cool by association.

teaching is going pretty good. the early mornings are a pain but i love watching the run rise in my rear view mirror. the morning mist/fog is pretty cool too. the boys are tiny and the girls frighting. i think im pretty lucky to have the teacher i got. for our wire sculpture demos we made obi-wan and darth vader dueling it out with model magic text bubbles. we joke around that we will evict the student work and put all our amazing demo pieces in the display case instead.

i thought myself a genius recently; all these students were outside the door before the bell rang so i had them walk to the end of the classroom and back, just as the bell rang on their trip back.

if i hear one more idea for a project relating to pokemon or naruto... im going to strangle the kid. i can just imagine a kid looking back at artwork they did while they were in jr high and it ALL being naruto shit. that would be depressing. grow a goddamn imagination you turd.

it is creepy though when girls half your age are inquiring about your relationship status...

p.s.-none of the little snots know who the beatles are! some of them have heard of them but that's about it. what are kids being taught these days! the humanity...

since my last post my room is still not clean yet.

a couple of weeks ago i realized that it was august and wondered what i had done with my time. for the most part ive just been working, and then coming home to crash and fall asleep around 9 or ten. i told them my last day of work (tomorrow) two weeks in advance thinking id have a week to myself before i had to student teach. that doesnt look like its going to happen. monday is student teaching orientation in dekalb from 8am-4pm. my weekend should be spent clearing out my room so that i have a place to work once teaching starts. wednesday is a teacher institute day at schaumburg middle school and the next day is the first day of school.

ive been doing some computer work for friends/family lately and getting some decent, tax free money for it.

i need a day to sleep in, but since im so used to waking up at 5:30am i can never sleep past 9.

some updates:

progressively trying to clean out my room since i helped my brother move out to springfield and with myself moving back in. still in progress...

i got a ps3 a few weeks ago with the metal gear solid 4 game. pretty incredible, but i need to find a hdmi cable so it can look a tad better on our home tv.

went to river's grad party a few weeks ago, was thrilled to find 1.5 of my roommates. frolicked in the grass and got devoured by insects. did some accidental tokyo-drifting on the way back to dekalb. next day i spent the day packing up more of my stuff to take home.

work has been fun, but tiering. i pretty much get home, eat and then sleep. my new bedtime is 9pm but it usually ends up being 10. we have a great crew this time on hot patch, for the most part.

friday i went to a heart shaped hate concert in chicago. fantastic. i was so paranoid about parking my car there since it was a little bit of a shady part of town but it turned out ok (knock on wood)

saturday i went to a neighbor's college graduation party, who ive known since i was 2-ish when i moved onto this block. free booze and amazing italian catering too. some of my other high school classmates have gotten really fat though...

sunday did some computer work for some cousins in riverside and got paid, but stayed a little too late to wake up for work the next day, but still made it.

it also hailed sunday! huge hail too, as in nickel and dime hail. i was in my car thinking one of my windows was going shatter on me letting in fast-moving vehicles of pain. i escaped with two dents on my roof but my hood is a mess. it looks like the moon. pictures on the fb

sometime last night, someone broke in under the hood of my car and stole the distributor! this morning i get in my car to go to work and try starting the car, it keeps revving but its not starting. i notice the oil light is on, and i am close to my date for having it changed, so i pop the hood to check it and there are tree nicely placed bolts on my engine block, loose spark plug cords, computer wires and an empty space where my distributer should be. apparently, according to the officers who arrived at the scene, toyota's and honda's parts are a large commodity since they last so long so people will scrap cars on the street for needed parts. the officer also said i was lucky they only took that one part. apparently my side-rear windows, rear spoiler and other engine parts are hot items as well. catalytic converters are also being taken for their titanium in many types of cars. the officers then took prints of a palm print they found of the air intake that the thief probably left while unbolting the distributer. pics also on fb

the officer suggested i park my car in the garage, which i found funny considering my bike was stolen from the garage maybe a year from now... this is what i get for getting a great car.

so, yeah. in skokie of all places. so much for fretting about chicago parking.

i got my curriculum back a few days ago and did pretty well on it. i didnt put in page numbers and a table of contents like i should have because i was pressed for time and thought having a more complete curriculum was more important. i did have to put it in later though by the teachers request. the professor also made it clear though that i would lose a few points for not having it fully completed on time. at the time i was thinking, whatever its turned in and done. when i got it back i got an 89, one point away from an A. i was debating about asking if i could have just one point to make it an A, but i was pretty sure my turning in the table of contents late would be used against me in that argument. so i figured i leave it be.

then i got my grades today... All As except for the curriculum class. so basically, i was one point away from having a perfect 4.0! oh the irony. surprisingly, i did end up getting an A in handbuilding ceramics after in my individual meeting with Yih-Wen he said i was going to get a B.

so, thats that.

went paintballing a few days ago. was very fun, and should be made a tradition for perhaps... every other weekend? maybe?

anyway. yesterday i rented a buttload of dvds because my brother gets promo codes for the redboxs outside jewel. i really liked kite runner and there will be blood. juno was good too but im sure thats old news for many of you.

took my piss test for public works today. after four years, i have successfully mastered the art of timing my bladder for this kind of thing.

i have my middle school student teaching interview friday, and since i was smart enough to leave my decent clothes in dekalb i have to buy some new ones. i figure the cost of some new clothes outweigh the cost of gas to retrieve old ones. i dont even know where to begin. hooray for shopping

time to do dishes

hey its been a while

most of you know what i should be doing.

i think i will be able to finish. I decided one of my lessons did not fit so i booted it. i know what the new one is going to be but i have to re-write it. there are still quite a few handouts, rubrics and power points that i need to do. looking back, i should have made them while the lesson was still in my mind

there is a guy here who is constantly laughing. not as in a chuckle, but a full guffaw. when hes not laughing, hes yelling at the screen. it driving me nuts.

so, ive got a summer job back at public works (hooray), the climbing/camping trip was canceled (boo), but that means i get to take my drug test earlier to and start working earlier (woo?).

ive wasted so much time... got to get back to work

it is 5 am
your rap music is too loud
my but is now numb

wow. so this weekend was rough.

i had to drop my first interview and just go strait to my second at palatine high school because i hate country back roads, to be brief. luckily, as the secretary gave me the address to the 2nd location, i realized it was actually the same address she had previously given me for the first location. so, even if i was on time, i would have been in a totally separate building/area of town. when i did eventually get there, there were only 1 of the 2 people i was supposed to interview with bc the other was having his appendix removed. SO... since i still have to meet with that person, and have to reschedule the first meeting, i still have another 2 interviews. ahrg! on a lighter note, palatine hs looks incredible! and they asked me if i would be interested in coaching swimming, since im experienced in that sport. i dont know if that is part of my contract but it seems great to me. after all that, i was just tired

what really upset me though was that all my best ceramic work took a heavy beating in the back of my car while on those fucking country roads! i had padded them as best as i could but it was a pretty grim sight when i finally got to pull over. my dragon in split in half, my vase/jug has a nice chunk out of the rim and my cone looking cup has a nice chunk missing as well. i was nothing less than upset.

good news though, my computer is up and back to normal. no more trips to the computer lab. many thanks to both my brother for helping me fix it, and jason for letting me keep my files on his external hard drive!

in all my worrying over my interview, i missed my TB check-up on thursday/friday so i might have to get another 1 year immunization! damn it... im hoping they will see it on monday and let me pass anyway. i still need to get my permits signed for student teaching to go with it... god im hating niu.

oddly enough, im not feeling as stressed out/overwhelmed as i should. maybe its because im sleeping in and have meals already made for me.

trough all of this though, my car has been pretty amazing. i think its the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

so im in the middle of writing my last lesson plans for my first unit, and im at that point where im getting all giddy bc im almost done... and then, i remember. this is my first unit, out of four! ahrgbthhh...

after spending several hours typing at the computer lab in neptune north (open 24 hours) im walking home and decide to stop into the ceramics room to see if anything has progressed concerning my work. mind you im somewhat depressed after spending a weekend behind a keyboard during some fantastic weather. checking out the shelves, i find my katamari chia pet of the prince (handy diagram a few posts back--29 March 2007 to be exact) and it is completely intact! that alone made my weekend worth it. so i glazed it and put it back on the shelf for the second firing. hopefully it will be equally fulfilling. aside from that, holding my breath on two other HUGE pieces i am glaze firing. pray there will not be a puddle of solid glaze for me to chisel off of the kiln floor afterwards.

btw im spending so much time in the computer lab because my computer got a nasty little virus (that among other things) and so i decided to reformat it. luckily jason is nice enough to lend me his external hard drive, where i have temporarily backed up my computer's memory.

ikaruga comes out this wednesday to download onto the xbox360! meaning there is now a reason i might buy a 360... might. i still want the gamecube version though (james). i dont need anymore distractions.

all that work i was saying id do over the last week/weekend hasnt seemed to solidify. so, now my first unit is due in 15 hours.

the 1/2 halloween on saturday was probably the best time i had in a long time, and much needed at that (sorry if im rubbing it in to those who missed it). heart shaped hate was a blast to see and blake's last minute costume was nothing less than spectacular, so kudos to that. well, now i wish it was friday again.

im so happy its raining! the storms this morning were pretty cool but most of all, the smell is amazing. im kind of hoping this is the last turn towards spring. hopefully it will last a while before it gets muggy, and i start complaining about the heat. as much as i like winter and snow, that was a little bit much. i promise i wont wish for heavy snow anymore.

ok but in all seriousness, its work time. work time that i would much rather be spent else where.

ive been a little slow lately. im starting to shift into a spot where i think a few weeks ahead, rather than the usual 5-day week span. with this im finding new--or not so new--things i should be concerned about. For instance, my first unit is due tuesday and ive done very little. also, my car has been a little slow in starting up from sitting around. i think its the battery because after sitting around in my garage while i was at school, i had to jump it to get it running again. after driving to dekalb and using it now and then the problem didnt resurface. but now it seems to be coming back... anyway, i just realized i should take care of this problem very soon so that i am not stranded in palatine when i go for my meeting on the 11th, or miss it for that matter and being stuck in dekalb. so, a trip to pep boys is imminent. ive also found that if i want to include any of the work i have done in my ceramics class in my portfolio, i need to finish that shit up, and fast! one of my pieces, a chia-pet prince from katamari damacy takes "1-2 weeks" for the chia seeds to fully grow, and i just put it out to be fired. oh, and i have a big writing center appointment for fixing up my rationale with the director on the 7th... i had to go a little out of my way to fit myself into her schedule so i should really have my changes made before i have it looked over again. i think up until one month from now, im going to be pretty high-strung.

woah! ok, after just typing that, i checked my "calender" on my cell phone to see if i was forgetting anything and i found something i had marked for the 30th (a little after 1 month from now). im not one to be too superstitious but a while back i got a fortune cookie that said "remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you." finding that fairly funny by being so vague, i marked it down. i had forgotten about it, until about 5 minutes ago. hopefully ancient chinese wisdom serves me well. or, it could be a funny translation and mean that there are good things in the store for me to purchase because a big sale will happen in 3 months...

how you know you are getting old #24: you spot infomercials for greatest hits cds featuring several songs that were popular in grade school, and you still know all of the lyrics. the cd is called "crew cuts" by the way.

time for bed.

my brother got me sick over break so its been fun, especially while trying to get back into the habit doing school-stuff again. i think its clearing up though... but some days are better than others. i bought some ginger to make tea after i felt too sick to go to watercolor today. ive gone through 4 pots so far. it seems to be working, but now i pee frequently. actually, my eyes were watering and my nose was sniffling so much so that while i was leaving the computer lab a girl was staring at me, perhaps fixated. unless shes really intrigued by sickly guys, i think she thought i was bawling my eyes out. i didnt really think of it until i had already left the room, but afterwards i found it kind of funny.

over break i got my plates/insurance/stickers for my car. i still need to get used to its tweaks while driving it though. the drive to dekalb was pretty fun. i also reapplied for public works for summer work. hopefully i still qualify to be hired. also played a bit of the new super smash brothers. too bad our router decided to die a few hours after my brother got it. theres a little stress in the family over the condition of one of our kid relatives, so that seems to take a place in the back of your mind. overall i felt like i was getting stuff done... except for art-ed stuff, which is why i am still up.

ive just been so exhausted for too long. i need a break that doesnt have due dates around the corner.

oh, i got a letter from palatine high school to set up an interview for student teaching. it seems fairly definite so im kind of happy about that. there are two interviews back to back: one with the district administration and the other with the school itself. at first i thought that was just how it was done but some people ive been talking to in my class say that their interview is just with the teacher or the school, so now im all shaken up. the meeting is on april 11th, that seems so close. so does my portfolio review which is a week or two afterwards... this is going to be nuts. i dont feel prepared for anything anymore.

i left briefly to get a stamp and drop off my nicor bill and discovered the weather had made a turn for the amazing. riding my bike through the snow has given it some rust so i need to fix that up soon.

i should be working on my rationale, but once again... i am procrastinating. i really want to be done with it already. its dragged on for so long. i have a writing center appointment tomorrow and then i turn in the final version tuesday. i feel that ive done a lot better of a job than many of my classmates, but i still want it to be somewhat respectable for my own standards.

i guess i am going back home.
i figured i would get some observation hours from this week i have off.
i was kind of looking forward to chilling out but i guess i should be doing something.

if you stop by chicago within the week let me know. i dont want it to be all-work-no-play after all.